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"A present from the God," said QianGang

出自香港新聞網 - 樹仁新傳系學生實習習作

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Karen Chan Oct 25, 2011


"723" is (a forever tragedy) for China. Besides the large (x) deaths(death cannot be large), the deliberately concealed reasons for the accident also provoked people (provoked them to?). Fortunately, the prevalent(adj) and convenience(noun-should be adj also) (of the media use give a helping hand to the victims to find out the truth-ambiguous, rephrase). “Weibo helps the public to find out the hidden truth,” said by QianGang, a senior non-fiction writer and journalist(should mention credentials, famous work, etc) in a conference hold(vt-when did this happen?past?present?) in Shue Yan University yesterday.


For years, China has been recognized as an (information sealed country-inap). The government even stopped the media from reporting anything about the train accident in Wenzhou this July, this seriously violated the freedom of the press. However, QianGang admired that China has a breakthrough on freedom of reporting due to the increasing popularity of the use of Internet, especially weibo, which dominates the Internet market of China (with over than-either use with over, or more than) 0.3 billion users. “Although the newspapers have been given orders to stop reporting about the accident, the reporters transfer(vt) their articles to weibo and broadcast the hidden story (in?) another network.” With the help of the Internet, (the freedom of reporting) then (can be carried forward-incorrect use of passive voice).


“You can never miss the present from the God---weibo,” (what did he mean by you can never miss it?)Qiangang believed that with the help of weibo, there is still hope (about?) journalism. When you share your opinion on weibo, you will have unlimited followers, then your news can be spread all over the world. However, Qian warned that China will tighten the freedom of news from now to March due to the conference held at that time, then it is easy for the government to control the behavior and comments of the people. If Journalists want to express their ideas freely (on?) newspaper, he highly recommended that both types of the media----- Internet and newspapers, should work together to fight for their freedom (whose freedom-avoid unclear pronouns-who is they?).

--095105 2011年10月25日 (二) 15:58 (UTC)

Title: a gift from God, or gift from the gods

Things to consider: Prepositions, read your article out loud to catch inappropriately used prepositions, and awkward sentence, as they are holding the reader back from getting the full picture.
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