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China tends to be more democratic

出自香港新聞網 - 樹仁新傳系學生實習習作

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By Chloe Chiu


HKSYU, 17 APR -‘China has no democracy! No liberalism!’ It is questionable how citizens can live under high bureaucracy, monocracy and savageness year by year. A country (made up of can also work here)composed of 13 billion people who had(present tense) no (right to) vote choosing their presidents, no right (to discus(sing)) ‘sensitive’ political issues and no channel (to...express(ing)) their appeals. Worse still, media from foreign countries described China government as an ‘oligarch(y)'.


While everyone is criticizing (towards-omit) China’s political status, one of the media experts who had spent efforts on magazine industry holds an opposi(te-ing) view (against others-can omit). Liu Wei Zhong, the President and Chief Editor of Bauhinia Magazine held firm to belief that China is becoming more and more ‘democratic’ in all parts (of...society?).


Bo Xilai, the former executive of Chongqin region had been exposed to a series of scandals from inciting people to rebel to murdering. Liu explained that it is an extremely ‘sensitive’ issue and refused to (argue-comment) on it directly.


“It (can be-is) (sure-certain-undeniable) that Bo’s wife had broken the law and suspected to kill a British businessman Haywood,” Liu said.


Since Bo connived her wife, he was also link(ing-past tense ending) to this case. However, Liu did not mention further details (to?) this issue.


Liu added that it is very difficult for us to distinguish what is true and fake since there is no efficient method to recognize(...). Once there are a stream of rumours came from diverse platforms, it is impossible to make a fair judgment.


Pondering over the development of China, he did believe that the government is now moving forwards within several decades in a progressive trend catering to a law-abiding democratic system.


“Comparing with the situation in 1960s, it is obvious that Chinese leaders are changing to be more and more democratic than before,” said Liu.


Is there a‘democratic’system? Hong Kong residents, please distinguish (by-with) your (concise?-or is it conscious?) mind.


Nice opening, a lot of emotion there, which is refreshing. The reader gets a good sense of the writer's voice. Keep it up!



Correction

Chloe's comment:


Great to hear from you!

Next article will be the last piece of work in this semester!

Thanks for your kind teaching and useful comments always!

Really gain much on writing skills!

I believe that I improved much than before.

(Although not yet perfect, HAHAHA!!~)

Thanks so much, dear!!~ =]


Professor's comment:


Nice opening, a lot of emotion there, which is refreshing. The reader gets a good sense of the writer's voice. Keep it up!



China tends to be more democratic


By Chloe Chiu


HKSYU, 17 APR -‘China has no democracy! No liberalism!’ It is questionable how citizens can live under high bureaucracy, monocracy and savageness year by year. A country made up of 13 billion people who has no vote choosing their presidents, no right to discuss‘sensitive’ political issues and no channel to express their appeals. Worse still, media from foreign countries described China government as an ‘oligarch'.


While everyone is criticizing China’s political status, one of the media experts who had spent efforts on magazine industry holds an opposing view. Liu Wei Zhong, the President and Chief Editor of Bauhinia Magazine held firm to belief that China is becoming more and more ‘democratic’.


Bo Xilai, the former executive of Chongqin region had been exposed to a series of scandals from inciting people to rebel to murdering. Liu explained that it is an extremely ‘sensitive’ issue and refused to comment on it directly.


“It is sure-certain-undeniable that Bo’s wife had broken the law and suspected to kill a British businessman Haywood,” Liu said.


Since Bo connived her wife, he was also linked to this case. However, Liu did not mention further details on this issue.


Liu added that it is very difficult for us to distinguish what is true and fake since there is no efficient method to recognizeed. Once there are a stream of rumours came from diverse platforms, it is impossible to make a fair judgment.


Pondering over the development of China, he did believe that the government is now moving forwards within several decades in a progressive trend catering to a law-abiding democratic system.


“Comparing with the situation in 1960s, it is obvious that Chinese leaders are changing to be more and more democratic than before,” said Liu.


Is there a‘democratic’system? Hong Kong residents, please distinguish with your conscious mind.
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