請各位先登陸 (studentID,Moodle 密碼登陸),後編輯
請各位使用左方之工具列上的上載文件連結上載習作相關的相片

The one be generous, The one be happier

出自香港新聞網 - 樹仁新傳系學生實習習作

跳轉到: 導航, 搜尋


By Chloe Chiu


HKSYU, 13MAR -“Happiness (held?) is the seed” If you help others, you would gain a precious present – joy & delight. In the ancient Chinese legend, pagoda connoted the spirits of protecting human beings. Once you are walking on the street, have you taken noticed of the symbol of a pagoda? This building shows concerted efforts of an non-profit individual Chest. Over the past 40 years, the Coummunity Chest has helped the poverty-stricken cilizens by allocating funds in Hong Kong. (good opening)


(However-can use "despite the fact/even so/that said"-instead), Louie Tong Hang-shing, Manager of Community Relations from the Community Chest claimed that the organization is now facing great difficulties. “We are facing three major challenges right now,” said Louie. She pointed out that the main factors include the aging popluation, the increasing youth problems and widening gap between the rich and poor.


In 2007, (put percentage here)population of people over 65 year-old was nearly 11% in Hong Kong. “It is predicted that the statistic will rise up to 27% in 2033,”said Louie with vast worry. Since there is a greater demand, there is no enough service for people who are suffer(ed-progressive ending). Louie stressed that the situation is urgent and leaves no time to wait. “Dementia not only affects the patients themselves but their family also,” she said.


For the sake of solving the problem fundamentally, Louie held firm to (believe-use noun not verb) that it is essential for Community Chest to provide physical and psychological treatment simltaneously to designated patients. According to a research conducted by Yang Memorial Methodist Social Service, the number of compensated dating in 2011 is six times more than that of 2007. “More complementary counseling service is needed in the coming days,”she said with convicting voice.


Besides the forementioned worries, there are almost 1.3 million people in Hong Kong living under the poverty line. “Actually, some of the youngsters don’t have enough resources to receive tertiary education and leads us to a worser condition in the future.


Though there is obstruction, the Community Chest is still being confident. “Only by raising funds in a wiser way, the future will still (be-omit) fourish(ed),”


The Community Chest expand(s-past) dramatically during the early 1960's and provided certain helps to social issues ranging from poverty, diseases, miseducation, family violence plagued the Hong Kong community. Moreover, a complete social welfare system has been well established. By building a pagoda out of many grains of sand, all of us including you and me can bring forth hope for the needy as generous donors.


Only having your great support, the pagoda will not (been-omit) easily collaps(ed).


Nice job Chloe, I am glad to see my comments are appreciated, and yes you have the right format this time! For this article, this is very good & thorough writing. Just one thought-when you mention compensating dating, it is a bit of a surprise since the reader believes your are still talking about the elderly's dementia-just something to be aware of-how to introduce or transition into new topics.


Correction

Chloe's comment:

You're welcome and I am glad to receive your comment everytime. So happy to receive your appreciation which encourages me a lot. Wait for your favourable and useful remarks next time. Thanks so much!

From Chloe


Professor's comment:

Nice job Chloe, I am glad to see my comments are appreciated, and yes you have the right format this time! For this article, this is very good & thorough writing. Just one thought-when you mention compensating dating, it is a bit of a surprise since the reader believes your are still talking about the elderly's dementia-just something to be aware of-how to introduce or transition into new topics.


The one be generous, The one be happier


By Chloe Chiu


HKSYU, 13MAR -Voluntary work is the seed of happiness” If you help others, you would gain a precious present – joy & delight. In the ancient Chinese legend, pagoda connoted the spirits of protecting human beings. Once you are walking on the street, have you taken noticed of the symbol of a pagoda? This building shows concerted efforts of an non-profit individual Chest. Over the past 40 years, the Coummunity Chest has helped the poverty-stricken cilizens by allocating funds in Hong Kong. (good opening:Oh! Thanks for your appreciation! I will keep it up!!=])


Despite the fact, Louie Tong Hang-shing, Manager of Community Relations from the Community Chest claimed that the organization is now facing great difficulties. “We are facing three major challenges right now,” said Louie. She pointed out that the main factors include the aging popluation, the increasing youth problems and widening gap between the rich and poor.


In 2007, the percentage of people over 65 year-old was nearly 11% in Hong Kong. “It is predicted that the statistic will rise up to 27% in 2033,”said Louie with vast worry. Since there is a greater demand, there is no enough service for people who are suffer. Louie stressed that the situation is urgent and leaves no time to wait. “Dementia not only affects the patients themselves but their family also,” she said.


For the sake of solving the problem fundamentally, Louie held firm to belief that it is essential for Community Chest to provide physical and psychological treatment simltaneously to designated patients. According to a research conducted by Yang Memorial Methodist Social Service, the number of compensated dating in 2011 is six times more than that of 2007. “More complementary counseling service is needed in the coming days,”she said with convicting voice.


Besides the forementioned worries, there are almost 1.3 million people in Hong Kong living under the poverty line. “Actually, some of the youngsters don’t have enough resources to receive tertiary education and leads us to a worser condition in the future.


Though there is obstruction, the Community Chest is still being confident. “Only by raising funds in a wiser way, the future will still fourish,”


The Community Chest expanded dramatically during the early 1960's and provided certain helps to social issues ranging from poverty, diseases, miseducation, family violence plagued the Hong Kong community. Moreover, a complete social welfare system has been well established. By building a pagoda out of many grains of sand, all of us including you and me can bring forth hope for the needy as generous donors.


Only having your great support, the pagoda will not easily collapse.
個人工具